Nothing Says the Holidays Like Divorce. After All, It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!!

The holidays are a time when families get together. The reality is that’s not always a Hallmark Card moment. It could instead be a bubbling punch bowl of stress just waiting to end up on someone. Given how highly charged this time of year can be for dysfunctional but married couples, it should be no surprise many spouses decide they’ve had enough during the holidays.

New Year is a time for resolutions and self-improvement. That can mean divorcing a spouse and starting all over again. While others talk about losing physical weight, your goal is losing all that emotional weight holding you back. Life is too short to live with a spouse you don’t love.

Once you’ve decided you’re getting divorced, all the irritations, nonsense, and mind games your spouse plays may roll off your back. You’ve reached the point where you’ve had enough, and the end is near. It’s a just a matter of time before you exit your marital house of horrors.

What You Do Next Depends on Your Situation

What you do and who you tell depends on your circumstances. If you have small children, you may not want their holiday memories mixed with your announcement the two of you are calling it quits. The holidays are stressful enough.

How you communicate your desire to divorce depends on your spouse and relationship. Divorcing couples can be remarkably caring about each other one minute and get extreme the next -- where physical abuse occurs. Whether your marital exit is calm and controlled or you’re in an ejection seat leaving the exploding jet that’s your marriage, you need to decide which path is right for you.

So, while you’re making a good show at holiday parties at friends’ and relatives’ homes, your mind can be elsewhere, planning what you need to do to make your divorce a reality.  Here are the important questions to ask and answer.

Where are Your Financial Records?

Unless you have few assets to split between the two of you, these records are critical. They tell the story of how much wealth you have, how much debt you owe, and who during the divorce process may be responsible for what. This can include bank and investment statements, retirement accounts, insurance policies, and cryptocurrency. Start organizing these records and copying them.

What are Your Tangible Assets?

What things do you and your spouse own? It may include vehicles, jewelry, furniture, real estate, and the family dog. NJ law requires they be divided or credited equitably during a divorce. If you and your spouse can’t figure that out, the lawyers, mediator, arbitrator, or a Judge will do it for you

How Will Your Spouse and You Resolve Your Conflicts?

Even if you think the process will go smoothly, you may hit rough patches on the divorce road, and there may be issues where your spouse refuses to compromise. Usually, divorces initially start through negotiation. If that only gets you so far, we will recommend mediation. If all else fails, the parties can give up control of the outcome and have an arbitrator or a Judge decide

What are Your Spouse’s and Your Priorities?

You can’t always get what you want, but you should get what you need. Ideally, both sides will be prepared to compromise, and each side has their priorities. When it comes to dividing wealth, it may be done in many ways, at least one of which should be mutually acceptable. There’s normally a certain amount of trading, whether one kind of asset goes to one spouse, another for the other, and child custody can be split, too. Or not.

What’s Best for Your Children?

The court ordinarily will presume having both parents in their children’s  lives is best. If you have serious reservations about your spouse’s ability to parent, the facts need to be extreme for a judge to deny a parent any parenting time with  a child. How child custody is handled during your divorce is based on their best interests, not on what you or your spouse want.

Contact Kingston Law Group – Attorneys You Can Trust With Your Legal Matters

Divorce requires many steps. It’s not the time to hire an attorney who will learn the ropes by working on your case. Kingston Law Group are experienced divorce attorneys who’ve helped many people just like you for more than 50 years.

If you’re serious about divorce and decided to take that step, contact us at 609-683-7400 or write to us online to schedule an initial divorce law consultation. The first consultation is handled at a reduced rate.  We accept major credit cards and offer appointments from 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., Monday to Friday, or pre-arranged evening appointment times.

Kingston Law Group represents people in family law in Princeton NJ,  Central New Jersey including , Kingston, New Brunswick, Lawrenceville, and Mercer NJ.

Call us today. You will be glad you did.

And Happy Holidays!!

May the Federal Government Require Your Employer to Mandate That You Get a COVID-19 Vaccine or Get Fired? We Don’t Know Yet!

November was a busy month for federal government agencies, courts, employers, and attorneys involved in the issue of mandatory COVID-19 vaccines for employees. At stake is a novel approach to increase COVID-19 vaccination rates put together by the Biden administration. Not surprisingly, the proposal spawned numerous lawsuits challenging it. A federal appeals court ruled it couldn’t go forward until further review and that the opponents of mandated workplace vaccinations were likely to prevail. 

Wide-Ranging Workplace Safety Order Could Impact Employers With a Hundred or More Employees

The federal Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) issued on November 5 an Emergency Temporary Standard (ETS) involving employers with at least 100 employees. Under this order, employers would need to start a mandatory vaccine policy or weekly testing and a mask policy. 

They’d also be required to provide paid time off to workers to receive the vaccine and recover from side effects. Unvaccinated employees would also need to wear a mask when in contact with coworkers. If an employer fails to comply, OSHA could issue a citation for $13,653 per violation and up to $136,532 if a violation is repeated or considered willful.

Federal Appeals Court Decision Prevents Rule from Going Into Effect

The rule technically took effect when it was published in the Federal Register, but a day later a decision by the US Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit prevented it from going forward. The many arguments against it in actions in federal courts across the country include:

• No federal statute authorizes the proposed actions explicitly and the executive branch is overstepping its authority through OSHA
• It violates the Commerce Clause of the 10th Amendment to the US Constitution (which allows federal regulation of interstate commerce) because there’s no specific connection between COVID and interstate commerce
• Regulation of public health and safety powers are granted to the states
• At this point, with most of the U.S. population vaccinated, there’s no “grave danger” to justify this level of regulation
• The administrative and financial costs on employers are too high, as are the possible penalties 

Three days after the Biden Administration announced the ETS, the Fifth Circuit (which covers appeals from federal courts in Mississippi, Louisiana, and Texas) issued an order staying the mandate pending further action. The court order stated there’s “cause to believe there are grave statutory and constitutional issues with the Mandate.” The Department of Labor was told to respond and those opposing could reply the next day.

Since the ETS is stayed and the order applies nationwide, employers need not comply. The court could lift the stay, then employers may need to act. Or maybe not. Because no matter how the appeals court finally rules, the outcome will be appealed by the losing side to the US Supreme Court and rule enforcement may be stayed until the Justices issue a final decision. Even if the ETS is eventually ruled valid, it may be months before it impacts workers.

Is Your Employer Unfairly Forcing You to be Vaccinated? Ignoring Your Disability-Related Concerns?

Contact our Kingston law offices with questions or concerns about your employer’s vaccination policy and how it may affect you. You may reach us through email (hisaacs@kingstonlawgroup.com), or by calling us at 609-683-7400.

We can schedule a reduced fee initial consultation. We can speak on the phone, through a Zoom teleconference, or in person if in fact you are vaccinated against Covid-19. We accept credit card payments and our appointments are generally from 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., from Monday to Friday. We can schedule evening appointments during the work week ahead of time.

We will listen to your facts, explain the law, and outline your best avenues to achieve social and economic justice. Contact us today. You’ll be glad you did.

New Jersey’s “Divorce on the Papers” Could Save You Time and Money

COVID-19 has caused massive societal changes, including in the consumption of legal services. As long as you have the resources, it’s never been easier to buy things and have them delivered to your home in 2 days. More people work from home, and many of them will stay there as the pandemic grinds on. Starting this past June, it’s also never been easier procedurally or logistically to get a New Jersey divorce. 

A Divorce Without Court Appearances

Directive #18-20 from the state’s Administrative Office of the Courts published instructions for courts to enter defaults and uncontested judgments without the parties appearing in court in most dissolution (divorce) proceedings. Couples reaching comprehensive agreements do not need to show up in court to get divorced. 

The judge assigned to your case can have proceedings done remotely through the use of the telephone or a teleconference. Cases that can be processed this way include verified divorce complaints, annulments, and dissolutions of civil unions and domestic partnerships. 

Default cases are those where a spouse files for divorce, gives proper notice to the other spouse, who doesn’t file a timely response with the court. These uncontested cases involve spouses who either just want to end their marriage/civil union/domestic partnership or, in addition, the two agree on all the issues between them (such as child custody and parenting time, child support, spousal support, and property distribution). 

If there’s a property settlement agreement, each side must submit a certification acknowledging they have a right to attorney review of the agreement before they sign it. The spouse filing can resume using the name they used prior to getting married as state law permits.

Uncontested Divorces Can Be Simpler and Cheaper…

Court appearances cost time and money. There could be multiple appearances depending on the couple, the issues being contested, and how difficult they want the process to be for their spouse. They often involve both sides arguing over one topic or another. All this increases divorce fees and costs for everyone involved.

Most spouses reach an agreement and avoid the need for a trial. If a couple has few assets or they have clearly separated them and no children are involved, they could seek an immediate dissolution. When relationships are more complex, if all the issues can be ironed out prior to the filing, the divorce also could be concluded with little court involvement.

…But Simpler Isn’t Always Better

Don’t choose simplicity for the sake of simplicity. You need to protect your rights and interests and those of your children. You should consult with a lawyer before starting the process. There may be issues you’re not aware of that you need to consider. You can’t get a “do-over” divorce, so you need to measure twice and cut once.

If your relationship is more complicated, you may have some wealth, you share children, and you might own a closely held or family-based business. Even if you opt for a simpler process, issues like spousal support, asset and debt division, child custody and support must be completely worked out to avoid a trial. This may take some couples longer than others, but almost all couples resolve their differences without the need for a contested trial.

Do Your Homework

New Jersey not only provides a simpler process you might use, but it also gives you background information to help you understand the law and what’s going on. Although what’s available isn’t legal advice and shouldn’t be used as such, the New Jersey court system has online material that can help you understand the law and your legal rights. There’s a divorce “Self-Help Center” with useful information, including:

● How to file for divorce

● Responding to a divorce complaint

● Contested and uncontested cases

● Settling your case

● Modifying a divorce order

Kingston Law Group urges everyone to educate themselves about their rights and obligations in the divorce process. If you know what’s going on, you tend to sorry less. It can also help you “game plan” your divorce. There are things that you and your spouse care deeply about. If you’re in conflict, knowing how divorce works can help you think about possible compromises that both sides can agree to and live with.

When deciding on a divorce gameplan, don’t rely on everything you learn on the internet, even when it’s from a reputable source like the State of New Jersey. There’s too much at stake for you to go through this alone. You need the help of the Kingston Law Group.  Our attorneys are experienced in New Jersey family and divorce law.

Kingston Law Group: Get the Help You Need from Attorneys You Trust 

If you have any questions about the divorce legal process, call the Central Jersey law offices of Kingston Law Group at 609-683-7400, or contact us online, for a near-term reduced fee initial consultation.  We will listen to your facts, explain the laws, and advise you how to obtain legal, economic, and social justice.  We will give you your best options to protect your legal rights and interests and those of your child(ren).  Call today.  You will be glad you did.

Kingston Law Group Celebrates 40 Years

Princeton, NJ - The Kingston Law Group is celebrating 40 years of service to people in the Princeton, NJ region and other parts of the state.

“Forty years. It is so hard for me to believe it’s been that long. When I started the Kingston Law Group, I just wanted to help people and give them the legal advice they needed to make the best possible decisions,” said Hanan M. Isaacs, founding partner of the law firm. “I had no idea back then what the future would hold.”

Over the years, Mr. Isaacs has risen to the top of the legal profession in the Garden State. Among his other accomplishments is that he’s a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Matrimonial Specialist. Less than 300 New Jersey attorneys, out of 80,000, hold this certification. He has also served on numerous boards and committees, including two NJ Supreme Court committees.

Throughout the years he has seen many changes to New Jersey laws and the legal profession in general. For the Kingston Law Group, all this meant adapting to the times.

Now the firm focuses on litigation with a concentration in employment law, civil litigation, family law, and criminal defense.

In 2018, Mr. Isaacs formed a law partnership with Misty V. Avallone, Esq., a long-time associate of the firm, who focuses on matrimonial law practice.  Misty first came to work here in 2007, 14 years ago, as a trial paralegal.  She went to law school from 2008 to 2011, passed the NJ/PA bars, and started working here as a legal associate immediately after.

“We work hard to bring compassion and unrelenting advocacy to every case we take on.  Misty and I believe every client deserves to be treated with respect and have the side of the story told,” he said. “No matter what issue you bring to us, if we take your case, we will back you completely.”

Over the years, the firm has litigated some ground-breaking and landmark cases.

To see the firm’s major cases and the decisions, please visit Significant Cases.

“I look back on all the cases we tried over the years and the body of law they helped create. I am humbled that our clients chose this firm to represent them. I am honored to be a part of changing New Jersey laws to make them better serve the people of this state,” Mr. Isaacs said.

With the addition of Ms. Avallone, the firm was able to expand its reach and client services. Mr. Isaacs said the decision to bring her into the practice ranks as one of his best.

“For me, to be able to work alongside Hanan every day and be able to tap his incredible experience is just amazing. I learn new things regularly and it all makes me a better attorney and better able to serve the people who come to me for help,” she said. “I look forward to expanding Kingston Law Group’s reputation for legal excellence.”

For more information about the firm, its areas of expertise or the two attorneys, visit Kingston Law Group.

 

About Kingston Law Group

In 1981, Hanan M. Isaacs created a Central Jersey law partnership with Robert A. Felmeister. The firm was known as Felmeister & Isaacs. From their newly minted law offices In East Windsor, Mercer County, these two young lawyers were hellbent on creating an immediate commercial following. They took an aggressive stance on their first amendment right to advertise their legal services, including on the radio, a right the New Jersey Supreme Court was slow to recognize and support. Their stance produced a 4-year tussle with the Supreme Court, resulting in multiple hearings in state and federal court and two changes to the Rules of Professional Conduct, including the current Rule permitting most forms of advertising.

In 1988, Felmeister departed the firm to start a different career, and Isaacs constructed a sole practice focusing on family and divorce (in which he is a Certified Family Law Practitioner), employment law for workers, personal injury, insurance bad faith, and general civil and criminal defense practice. He also is an expert in negotiations, mediation, and arbitration of cases, whether as a neutral or a lawyer representing a party in those venues.

From 1998 to 2018, Mr. Isaacs hired paralegals and law associates to handle the firm’s work. He taught dispute resolution at Seton Hall Law School and Rider University, taught lawyers and judges the art and craft of negotiations and mediation, served as a Mediation Trainer and lecturer for the NJ Institute of Continuing Legal Education and NJ Association of Professional Mediators (NJAPM), published many articles on divorce, family law, and Alternative Dispute Resolution, and served in leadership roles at the State Bar Association, on Supreme Court Committees, and at NJAPM. He also served for many years on successive Zoning Boards of Adjustment (in Montgomery Township and Princeton), and on his Homeowners Association Board.

About Hanan M. Isaacs

Hanan M. Isaacs is a mediator, arbitrator, and trial lawyer who is dedicated to providing legal representation and ADR services to Central Jersey clients. He is a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Family Law Specialist and a NJAPM Accredited Professional Mediator (APM) in general civil and divorce matters. Mr. Isaacs's law practice focuses on family law, employment law, general civil and criminal law litigation, and ADR.

#NewJersey #KingstonLawGroup #40thyearanniversay #lawyer #PrincetonNJ

May NJ Employers Mandate Employees’ COVID-19 Vaccination as a Condition of New or Continued Employment?

Lawsuits are based on specific facts. Some judges have decided vaccine mandate legal claims and the results are mixed, though most favor employers. The City of Newark successfully defended a legal challenge to its order that city employees be vaccinated, setting the legal stage for future employee lawsuits in the state. 

Kingston Law Group represents employees in a wide range of legal issues, including employment discrimination. If you have a medical condition that is threatened by a vaccine mandate and have questions about your legal rights, COVID-19, and your workplace, give us a call at 1-609-683-7400. 

There Must be Exceptions to a Vaccine Mandate

New Jersey employers are within their rights to mandate a COVID-19 vaccination as a condition of employment. This depends on whether:

• A contract or Employee Handbook provision applies and, if so, what language covers the mandated vaccine circumstance

• An employee seeks a reasonable accommodation for not getting vaccinated based on disability

If the employee feels they haven’t been reasonably accommodated, they could use legal action to force the employer not to apply the policy to them. Challenging an employer’s power to mandate vaccines would almost certainly be a waste of time.

New Jersey Public Employees Can be Required to Get Vaccinated or Face Discipline

In a decision issued September 27, the Superior Court of New Jersey, Appellate Division, sided with the city of Newark in a legal challenge by unions representing city employees.  The court reviewed an order by the state’s Public Employment Relations Commission (PERC) which reviewed an order by the city’s mayor mandating all employees be fully vaccinated.

PERC’s order denied in part and granted in part a request the mayor’s order be stopped. The appeals court found in favor of Newark, essentially giving it everything it wanted. Any parts of the PERC order limiting what they could do were overruled. “In short, all restraints imposed by PERC are vacated, and the City can fully implement and enforce its COVID-19 vaccination mandate forthwith,” the decision states.

Mayor Ras J. Baraka issued an executive order on August 10 that all city employees be fully vaccinated against COVID-19. It cited numerous facts about the pandemic, the effects of the infection, and vaccinations.

The order mandates employees show proof of full vaccination. If they’re not fully vaccinated, they must show that’s the case within 30 days. Within that time, they must be tested for COVID-19 weekly at the worker’s expense. The order gives exceptions for religious beliefs and medical reasons. Failing to comply could result in discipline up to termination. Employee unions stated the order was an unfair labor practice.

Even language of the collective bargaining agreement, state labor statutes, and countless legal decisions on public employee-employer relations couldn’t save the unions. “We hold that the City has a non-negotiable managerial prerogative to immediately implement its COVID-19 vaccination mandate,” the decision states.

When there’s a public health emergency, government entities have a right to require vaccinations, according to the decision. Such a public health emergency exists, and the vast majority of those hospitalized due to COVID-19 are unvaccinated.

The unions claimed the mayor couldn’t issue this order without the power to do so explicitly stated in a state statute. The court disagreed. It found:

[T]he City has a well-recognized right to hire or direct its workforce....That right, coupled with the clear national and state public policy to combat the health threats posed by COVID -19, supports the City’s authority to implement a vaccination mandate. In that regard, our Supreme Court has recognized that the COVID-19 pandemic is an extraordinary situation justifying extraordinary responses.

In New Jersey, public employers have a legal right to mandate vaccination. Generally, public employees have greater legal protections than private employees, so it is rational to believe private sector employers’ rights will be similarly upheld. 

Private Employers Have Significant Power to Control the Workplace and Employees

Two federal courts upheld vaccine mandates imposed on private employees at Houston Methodist Hospital in Texas. A District Court in June upheld the employer’s COVID-19 employee vaccine mandate. The US Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit later affirmed the decision.

A major part of the challenge was that the vaccines were approved by the federal Food and Drug Administration only for emergency use, not finally approved. That’s no longer the case as the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine received official approval in August.

Judge Lynn Hughes stated the vaccine mandate was like other employee and visitor safety management policies employers can implement. Objecting hospital employees claimed their employer was illegally coercing them to be vaccinated because they would be fired if not. Judge Hughes didn’t see it that way. 

This is not coercion. Methodist is trying to do their business of saving lives without giving them the COVID-19 virus. It is a choice made to keep staff, patients, and their families safer. (The plaintiff) can freely choose to accept or refuse a COVID-19 vaccine; however, if she refuses, she will simply need to work somewhere else…If a worker refuses an assignment, changed office, earlier start time, or other directive, he may be properly fired. Every employment includes limits on the worker’s behavior in exchange for his remuneration. That is all part of the bargain.

If a judge sees a vaccine policy as just another way an employer can manage its facility and employees, the employer will win the case almost all the time. 

Do You Feel Your Employer is Unfairly Forcing You to be Vaccinated?

Contact our Kingston law offices if you have questions or concerns about a vaccination policy or how your disability is not being accommodated. You may reach us online, via email (hisaacs@kingstonlawgroup.com), or by phone (609-683-7400).

We will schedule a near-term, reduced fee, initial consultation. We can be protected by social distance and masks, Zoom, or we can speak on the phone. We take credit card payments and have general appointments from 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., Monday through Friday. We can also schedule evening appointments during the week by pre-arrangement only.

We will listen to your facts, explain the law, and outline your best avenues for full recovery and economic justice. Contact us today. You’ll be glad you did.

Negotiating Child Custody with a Narcissistically Disordered Parent

What is Narcissism?

We write this blog post as experts in New Jersey family law, not psychology, psychiatry, social work, or related mental health fields.  The information contained in this post should not be read as diagnostic or prognostic of any individual or his or her mental illness.  When in doubt, consult with a subject matter expert. 

A narcissistic personality has been defined as demonstrating a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning in and after early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without corresponding achievement).

2. Is preoccupied with fantasies o

f unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or idealized love.

3. Believes that he or she is “special” and can only be understood by or associate with other special people or institutions.

4. Requires excessive admiration.

5. Has a sense of entitlement: has unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her wishes.

6. Is interpersonally exploitive: takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own desires.

7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.

8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.

During most divorces involving children, both parents will fight for what they believe is best for the kids. Many parents will overcome their differences and agree to a plan that allows both parents to have happy and healthy relationships with their kids. However, everyone is different, and some parents turn out to be narcissists.

Negotiating with a narcissist can be difficult, as they only focus on their own needs and desires. Some narcissists desire to hurt their spouse or partner by taking things away from them during divorce — including the children. The following suggestions will help you negotiate with a narcissist while also protecting your children.

Six (6) ideas for handling estranged current or former spouses and partners who suffer from NPD

The following ideas will help parents work through a separation or divorce with a person who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD):

• Prepare yourself: Do your due diligence. Many communities organize divorce clinics or workshops to help understand the process and expectations. Understanding courtroom procedures will help you focus.

• Personal counseling: A narcissist will make you doubt yourself and feel guilty. Individual counseling can help you separate fact from fiction and provide you with coping methods.

• Control communications: Limit your contact with a narcissist to documented media like e-mail (including the widely preferred “ourfamilywizard” communication system at https://www.ourfamilywizard.com) and texts. Correspondingly, stay away from video and audio/oral communications, and certainly avoid in-person showups, except at a police station or other public place, preferably in the presence of a trusted third-party adult.  Narcissists will persistently seek to keep you distracted, stressed, and worried about them. They will deny what they and you said and did and gaslight you into thinking you are the crazy one.  Document every instance of communication.

• Maintain your composure: A narcissist may emotionally provoke you and then seek to convince a court you are unfit to parent. Knowing this, you can steel yourself against attacks and maintain composure.

• Accept their personality disorder: You cannot improve a narcissist, especially during separation or divorce. If you accept their disorder, you can maintain a healthy perspective about their actions and maintain focus.

• Let the mental health experts diagnose your partner: Even if you have expertise in the forensic mental health world, you are not going to be the expert in THIS case. Let the appointed experts do their jobs.  Be a fact witness, period.

How can you negotiate with a narcissist? 

Generally, there is only one result the narcissist will accept and that is their desired result. They will persist in seeking control of the process and creating delays, blaming you along the way. They will aggrandize their own behavior and seek to render you a mentally unstable parent.  A 50-50 parenting time arrangement is a victory to them but may be a devastating loss for your children and you. They will also use finances to both punish and persuade you. Negotiating with a narcissist is like negotiating with a ferocious lion:  proceed with extreme caution and be prepared to run – to court.

Should you mediate with a narcissist? 

New Jersey requires mediation of all child custody and parenting time disputes.  You are required to show up; you do NOT have to settle.  Be in touch with your lawyer before signing any documents that are or may become binding.  If the mediator seems sucked in by the narcissist, request a different mediator, ask for the lawyers to attend mediation sessions, or stop the process.  The Family Court judge is never told why mediation came to an end and the mediator supplies no report to the Judge.

Will  you be able to convince the Judge of your version of the truth and the children’s best interests?

• A picture is worth ten thousand words. Maintain paper and electronic records of everything that may be relevant: text messages, voice recordings (recording ONLY conversations in which you personally participate), social media, report cards, photos, videos, calendars, special occasion cards, notes from medical visits.

• Control the narrative. Don’t allow the narcissist to dominate. Challenge each lie with your truth, including exhibits. Anything in the communications stream can come back to haunt or reward you in court.

• Give the Devil his due. Even when you don’t feel like it, be reasonable when it is in the children’s best interests, including changing a weekend for a family occasion.

• Don’t leave disrespectful messages on the other party’s voicemail. These will be Exhibit A to the adversary’s court application.

• Keep a journal throughout the conflict. Be aware that this document might be discoverable by the other side.

• Even if you strongly believe you are in the right, don’t pull the kids into a tug of war. 

• The rules of good communications: keep your messages short, polite, constructive, civil, and child centered. Remember, two wrongs don’t make a right. In response to the narcissist’s nastygram, you say: “I do not accept or acknowledge your version of these events.” 

• Require children’s passports to be held in escrow by a professional in the case, to avoid a surprise child removal to another state or a foreign jurisdiction where it may not be so easy to get the child or children back.

CONCLUSION

Negotiating with a narcissist is one of the most difficult things we do in the Family Law arena. You need to maintain your own center, pay attention to your kids’ needs, and negotiate with a person who does not take anyone’s needs into account but his or her own.  These individuals are difficult for therapists, mediators, and judges to reach.  Do your best to make the process work, but there is no assurance you will succeed, even with tremendous professional help, support, and intervention.  At the end of the day, you may need a trial to get the matter done.  In any event, you will need a very good lawyer to see you through this difficult process.

If you or your friends or loved ones are struggling with a narcissistically disordered person in a family law matter, contact Kingston Law Group online or give us a call at 1.609.683-7400.  We will listen to your facts, explain the law, and advise you how to maximize your legal, social, and financial outcomes.  Call us today.  You will be glad you did.

Amazon Stole Tips from Drivers

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) enforces laws prohibiting consumer fraud and deception. The Agency recently forced Amazon to pay $61.7 million worth of tips given by customers intended for drivers who worked as independent contractors. The Agency found the drivers never got the money because Amazon kept it. This case is attention-worthy not only because of who’s at fault and the amount at issue, but because a government agency stepped up to help gig workers, people who lack the legal protections of employees. 

The FTC got involved because it saw drivers and customers as victims of Amazon’s fraudulent advertising and practices. If the drivers were employees who a company cheated out of tips, they would probably have gotten help from their state’s labor departments through wage and hour investigations. Employees may also be able to file lawsuits to get fully paid. However, as declared non-employees, Amazon drivers were not covered by state labor laws.

Amazon’s not the only one with its hands in the electronic tip jar, just the biggest and most well-known. Last November, DoorDash agreed to pay $2.5 million to the District of Columbia’s attorney general due to allegations it misled consumers and pocketed tips, according to CNBC. The agency also sued Instacart last year for similar reasons.

Payments to Drivers Weren’t What They Were Promised

Amazon Flex is a program where people using their vehicles deliver packages for Amazon. It started in 2015 and claimed drivers could make $18 to $25 an hour. One of the advertised factors in the pay structure was the tips you could collect. Amazon told drivers they would “pass to you 100% of tips you earn” and told customers that “100% of your tips are passed on to your courier”. That ended up being 100% false, according to CBS News. The FTC made public in February a settlement with the company.

In February of 2021, rather than passing along 100 percent of customers’ tips to drivers, as it had promised to do, Amazon used the money for itself, said Daniel Kaufman, Acting Director of the FTC’s Bureau of Consumer Protection. “Our action today returns to drivers the tens of millions of dollars in tips that Amazon misappropriated and requires Amazon to get drivers’ permission before changing its treatment of tips in the future.”

Amazon will pay the tips it kept from 2016 to 2019. In late 2016, Amazon changed how it paid drivers so the rate paid would change based on a software program. To meet the claimed $18 dollar an hour minimum rate, a six-dollar tip would cut the company pay to $12/hour, instead of adding the six dollars so the driver could make $24/hour.

Neither drivers nor customers were notified of the change. Amazon started reporting driver earnings as a lump sum, concealing what was earned in tips and hourly pay, so drivers couldn’t tell who paid them how much. The company also discouraged tipping with cash. They wanted tips to be paid to Amazon electronically.

Drivers noticed the pay decrease after the change and complained to Amazon. Company emails falsely stated they could earn $18 to $25 per hour, including 100% of customer tips. Amazon failed to tell drivers their tips weren’t being added to their pay, rather they were being subtracted from their pay.

Federal Agency Focused on Fraud Gets Tips for Drivers

Complaints were also made to the FTC, which informed Amazon it was being investigated. The company changed its practices, telling drivers in August 2019 about an “Updated Earnings Experience.” The only update was that the company disclosed what it was doing. They didn’t change the system back to how it originally worked.

Amazon agreed to pay $61.7 million to the FTC, which will distribute the money to drivers. The agreement also formally prohibits the company from lying about tips and requires it to get drivers’ consent before changing payment models. Amazon’s total net revenue from 2016 to 2019 was $827 billion. A million saved here, a million stolen there, and pretty soon you’re talking real money.

During the first quarter of 2021, Amazon generated total net sales of approximately 108.52 billion U.S. dollars, surpassing the 75.45 billion U.S. dollars in the same quarter of 2020. Most Amazon revenues were via internet product sales.

The FTC could potentially pack a bigger punch if this comes up again. Jessica Rich, the former Director of the FTC’s Bureau of Consumer Protection, told Time magazine that if Amazon is accused of making “deceptive earnings claims” due to money it wrongly kept from contractors, the FTC could impose fines.

If You’re Getting Cheated Out of Pay, Contact Our Office at Once

If you have questions about getting full pay as an employee or independent contractor or believe you’re not getting everything you’re entitled to, contact our Kingston law offices. You may reach us online, via email (hisaacs@kingstonlawgroup.com), or by phone (609-683-7400).

We will schedule a near-term, reduced fee, initial consultation. We can be protected by social distance and masks, Zoom, or we can speak on the phone.  We take credit card payments and have general appointments from 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., Monday through Friday. We can also schedule evening appointments during the week by pre-arrangement only. 

We will listen to your facts, explain the law, and outline your best avenues for full recovery and economic justice.  Contact us today. You’ll be glad you did.